May we know YOU as You are...

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." (pg 1 Tozer). His first lines hits me hard. Hard because I know its truth.

WHen I remember who HE is...I love Him. When I remember who He is I fear Him. Proper awe.

When I forget, intentionally or for lack of reminders, I am quick to curse. I am quick to run. I am quick to follow a god of my own design. I am quick to say He doesn't see, or to think that He doesn't care. But making a god who fits my day...is idolatry. No way to sugar coat it.

When my father left and my mother had cancer...slowly, not overnight...the thought crept in. God doesn't even care... and when you allow that thought it transfers to every other area of life. Our thoughts matter. Our theology MATTERS. "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" Proverbs 23:7

The first one who thought wrong about God reached out her hand...she took what she thought He had held back from her. In the silence of a garden she swallowed her choice and all her descendants died.

...all.

And when we're honest we know that we do the same thing. We doubt Him. We are blinded to all we have and have vision only for what we lack. And we pass it on. Generation to generation...they reap what we sow.

"We do the greatest service to the next generation of Christians by passing on to them undimmed and undiminished that noble concept of God which we received from our Hebrew and Christian fathers of generations past." (pg 4 Tozer).

I was reading the end of Joshua on tuesday. The book ends with this, "Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had known the works of the LORD which He had done for Israel."

Then Judges chapter 2 verse 10 reads, "When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel."

Failure. Failure to know God and to pass on the knowledge of Him to the next generation. They grew up into idolatry and perished for lack of knowledge.

Undimmed and undiminished...may we both own and pass on the knowledge of the Holy One.

Taking on the Challenge

Memorize the mount. The Sermon on the Mount. The Jesus' Manifesto. Why not know it by heart? Victory comes from His word. "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God" and "This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our FAITH." No secret to victory. Faith. And faith comes from His words.

So I am joining this challenge. Hiding the word in my heart.

Let my Day Begin with Alleuia.

1.)His smile.

2.) Sunshine and tomato highlighting.

3.) Spending time with little woman, telling me about the love of Jesus.

4.) Training my hands- stitch after stitch.

5.) The familiar faces and noise of camp.

6.) Voices in unison repeating the truth "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us..."

7.) 4 sets of bunk beds, 2 cots, and a mattress on the floor. 11 girls sleeping in one room.

8.) Flying down a hill on a sled, screaming all the way.

9.) Cups of coffee and painted nails.

10.) Words of this song:

"Let my day begin with Alleuia

When the sun is high its alleuia

when the moon is high its alleuia

ALLEUIA, I praise you Lord.

Let my day begin with talking to You

I can't see ahead I know that You do

On the road of life You see the big view

ALLEUIA, I'll follow You."

Our offering.

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." Romans 12:1

This is our offering. Reasonable. Not asking too much. Not overkill. Present yourself to Him, holy-- this is what is acceptable in His eyes.

Living and holy. Not dead, sterile, and legalistic. But Alive- heart pumping, mind thrumming, nerves tingling...and holy.
God wouldn't ask it if we couldn't do it --through Him.

This is our material for sacrifice. God has provided the offering. Just like He always did through Scripture. He gives us the offering and just tells us to give it back to Him. AND THEN, He turns around and blesses us for it. What an awesome God we serve.

This thought came into my head tonight as I was enjoying having the arm of my man around me. The feeling that honoring God is both so hard and yet so easy. God provides us with the strength and the opportunity to please Him. He gives us the sacrifice.

1 Samuel 15:22 says that obedience is better than sacrifice. But I think that obedience is the sacrifice itself. We take our feelings, longings, battles, and prayers and pour them out like water from the well of Bethlehem. They are all an offering. God, this is for You. And this. And this. I love You more than this.

We cannot offer to God that which has cost us nothing. So praise Him for the longings and the battles because He gives us the material for sacrifice.


*"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mark 14:38- Pray for us if you think to, we always do appreciate it! =)*

Living in the Shadow

Our parents are our first truth. Our first view into what we can count on and what we can't. They start out invincible. Immortal. Tall and strong and perfect.

I struggle in the passenger seat. I look through the dark into the most familiar face in the world. I look out windows and beat back the desire to cut deep with words. My father ...passing on wisdom that I'm sure truely is wise. But my ears no longer want to hear him. No Dad. No. You no longer know.

I think of the nights of bedside stories. Summers of pool play, and car rides singing favorites. Lap sitting and talking. SO much talking. I remember his handkerchief and how good he was with tears. I was so much closer to him than to mom. Kneeling beside my bed teaching me the words I still repeat..."Our Father, who art in heaven..." I remember his guarding. A father's love teaches a daughter to bloom.

The lump still rises. Oh to undo these years that that was broken. The deep fear. The distrust. The bitter battle.

And I know that of course I'm still broken over this. Still crushed by the weight of a family dispersed and sin in the camp.

But FEAR KEEPS LIFE SMALL. and bitterness kills. It has killed. I've seen the carnage in my own life as I took that first step. My idol was knocked down. And so I stepped away from Jehovah. Rather than running to him.

Fear keeps life small. The fear of a life forgotten. Starting over and being forgotten. Swept under the rug, dismissed. Sin in my camp teaching the next generation the same fear that I know.

But my life doesn't have to be small. I might always remember this shadow and in some ways may always live in it. But may it end here. May my life be the last in a family covered by shadows.

Remember, not those things that have changed. Not the emptiness of a house where no man lives. Not the place settings only for two. Not those.

Remember what is the same and always will be. Jesus- the same yesterday, today, and forever. He'll never let go of my hand.

In Him I'll outlive this shadow.

Quote

"I used to think that God's gifts were on shelves one above the other, and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we should reach them. I find now that God's gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower, and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts."
~ F.B. Meyer

Monday Gratitude--> the way to beat the blues.

1.) Mom's budding plans for Ireland adventures. Tickets ordered.

2.) Time with sister friend.

3.) Dog's head heavy and warm.

4.) An evening with no plans.

5.)Springishness...not too long now.

6.)Long, clearing-the-head walks.

7.)Old ladies...leaning on His grace.

8.) Homemade Mac & cheese. Ritz crackers.

9.)hugs from girls suddenly tall.

10.)Goober boys in love with Sonic.