A whisper of Him.

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell." ~ C.S. Lewis

This morning, cup of steaming coffee in hand, I read this verse in Job:

"Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways and how small a whisper we hear of Him? But the thunder of His power who can understand?" Job 26:14

Job had just been recalling all the wonderous works of God. The heaven adorned by His Spirit. The earth hanging on nothing in space. The boundaries of light and darkness. The storms and the cycle of seasons and on and on we could go.

And yet its only a whisper of God.

We live in the borrowed moments, the borrowed breath He gives us. Acts 17:25&28, "...He gives to all life, breath, and all things...for in Him we lives and move and have our being."

Every created thing depends on BOTH other created things and God to continue existing. We are so feeble. So dependant. Which we completely take for granted.

I woke up this morning and the first thought that I had was:"..Man. I don't want to get up and do the same things today that I do every day..."

I came downstairs and began reading as I drank my coffee..."These are only the edges of His ways..."

We stand with our toes in the ocean of God. Life gets boring and miserable but so often its because we refuse to wade in deeper. When really every breath we have is His anyway. Why not know Him more?

"All things were created through Him and for Him and in Him all things consist." We are held together by Him and Him alone. He is held together by no one. By nothing. We need Him desperately and He needs nothing. He created us and yet no one created Him.

The 6th chapter of The Knowledge of The Holy by A.W.Tozer is about the Self-Sufficiency of God. He says in this chapter, "The blessed news is that the God who needs no one has in sovereign condescension stooped to work by and in and through His children." (pg 36)

He doesn't need us. If every person on earth decided not to believe in the God of the Bible He wouldn't throw a temper tantrum trying to get our attention. He wouldn't lose any of His power. He wouldn't slowly melt away. He wouldn't pop out of existance when the last believer denies Him. We add nothing to Him, and we can take nothing away. He is God, the same forever and to Him nothing is necessary.

He doesn't need us. But He does love us. He stoops down to us. There is no greater love.

He set His face towards Jerusalem

"Now Jesus, going up to Jerusalem, took the twelve disciples aside on the road and said to them, 'Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes; and they will condemn Him to death, and deliver Him to the Gentiles to mock and to scourge and to crucify. And the third day He will rise again.'" Matthew 20:17-19

He was not ignorant of what lay before Him.

And yet He set His face to go to the city and to the people who would drive in the nails. The people He would weep and pray over. The people who would mock Him, strike Him, gamble over His clothes, and condemn Him.

He knew and He warned His disciples. This would be their hardest moment. This would be the darkness where hope may die and the breath catch hard with bitter shock and disapointment.

You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.

Would they still speak with such confidence as they saw Him in chains?

We all know the end of this story...but what if we didn't? What if Easter unfolded for us like it unfolded for those disciples... Being warned, being told the outcome over and over again...and yet the horror, and the wonder...as they watched it unfold.

As we look to the cross this Easter season, don't take for granted that you know how the story ends. Remember the wonder, the ecstatic joy of that first Easter.

Look to the cross.

JOY ENCOUNTERs: Thanks be to God.

1.) Towels in sunlight.

2.) Encouragement on the other end of the phone. Speaking peace into my moment of grief.

3.)Those bellies great with child, and those that are not.
4.) Deer meat glop.

5.) Forsythias soon to explode.

6.) A nook to read and pray.

7.) Cousins playing spoons and trash and scrabble. Loud Love.

8.) God's financial provision...above and beyond what we could ask or think.

9.)Cleaning out and throwing away...always a sign of Spring.

10.) Accomplishing task lists.

Fat Tuesday and Skinny Wednesday

King cake, plastic beads, masks, and parades. Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras was not on my radar at all before this year. This fall I went to New Orleans to visit a close friend at Loyola University. Mardi Gras is the center point of New Orleans tourism and you don't have to search far to find some beads and a mask and get in on the fun...even in November months prior to their actual carnival celebrations. In fact, I was handed some before I even got to baggage claim at the airport. And despite its risque associations there are some very interesting things to know about Mardi Gras and the day following, Ash Wednesday.

The week or weeks before Mardi Gras in primarily Catholic areas (best known: New Orleans and Rio de Jainaro) is a celebration known as Carnival. The root of the word carival is basically a "farewell to meat" since Mardi Gras is the day before the start of Lent. 40 days of fasting and some form of self deprivation...preparation for the sacrifice of Christ on Good Friday.

Preparation.

Fat Tuesday is also sometimes known as Shrove Tuesday which is about a day of confession. A day of saying goodbye to all the luxuries our world throws at us and the comforts of the flesh and a day of confession...a day about seeing the need for a sacrifice.

And like every celebration in our world the meaning is lost in glitter... or the day passes unnoticed at all.

We lack the preparation. We have missed some of the high holy days that our rich heritage of faith passes down. And yes, perhaps the meaning isn't what it used to be. But can't it be reclaimed?

40 days of seeing our sinfulness and remembering the Passover Lamb has made a way for us into the Holy of Holies. 40 days of forward thinking, that "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

We are saved by grace through faith. Nothing we do should be about earning His love or His favour. But we can remember His love and His favour. His sacrifice.

Then sings my Soul...

I am so quick to bite with my words. To say things that I ache to take back. That was this morning. Conflict and Resolution...all before 9 in the morning. But despite the resolution I wish I could take back the cut in my voice. The daggers from my eyes. I live with her and she still doesn't know Him. She certainly doesn't see Him in me on mornings like this.

But I'm learning the paradox..."the repenting soul is the victorious soul...the valley is the place of vision."

Sometimes the apology is better than the mistake not made. Failure draws us closer to the One who is able to keep us from falling.

As I fume in the shower He reminds me of the lessons I am learning. They come to mind one after another..."As much as it depends on YOU live peaceably..." "Blessed are the meek...Blessed are the peacemakers...YOU are the salt of the earth."

Tension in my neck eases and the apology rises quick in my throat. First to Him. Then to her. Peace.

1.) Watching backyard puppy delight through kitchen windows.
2.)Soap running off dishes.
3.)Swinging in the darkness.
4.) His bandaid care for me.
5.)Knit socks and plaid pajamas.
6.)Singing in 4 languages "How Great is Our God."
7.) Breathing Easy, congestion gone and lungs clear.
8.) Holly Golightly, captivating.
9.)The knowing hand squeeze of a friend.
10.) Dancing the praise of the Lord. Brother and Sisters in Unity.

Rejoice in Hope.

Its been a sick week. A week of the slow nursing of self. Time focused on *me*... Where the gifts have been sleep late, ice cream cool on a sore throat, dogs walked by someone else...head heavy on a pillow.

But the hard part has been dealing with asthma. I take a steroid inhalor. Up until now I've been using only a rescue inhalor. In September my Dr decided 4 trips to the ER because of my asthma in one year was too much and so the prescription is Advair once in the morning and once before bed for the entirety of the cold...to prevent the asthma flare up in the first place.

Steroids. Wonderful Horrible things. I am so thankful that my chest isn't tight. I'm not coughing. I'm not out of breath.
But my blood pressure is up. I'm restless and anxious. Stir-crazy.

Mom assures me that over time my reactions to Advair will lessen. Rejoice in hope. This is just one of the many things in life that we look at as a bother rather than receiving as a blessing.

Breathe in promise. Breathe out hope. Asthma, part of my life's beauty. The kind my eye has to strain to see. But its teaching me: "Rejoice in hope. Be patient in tribulation." Romans 12:12

May we know YOU as You are...

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." (pg 1 Tozer). His first lines hits me hard. Hard because I know its truth.

WHen I remember who HE is...I love Him. When I remember who He is I fear Him. Proper awe.

When I forget, intentionally or for lack of reminders, I am quick to curse. I am quick to run. I am quick to follow a god of my own design. I am quick to say He doesn't see, or to think that He doesn't care. But making a god who fits my day...is idolatry. No way to sugar coat it.

When my father left and my mother had cancer...slowly, not overnight...the thought crept in. God doesn't even care... and when you allow that thought it transfers to every other area of life. Our thoughts matter. Our theology MATTERS. "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" Proverbs 23:7

The first one who thought wrong about God reached out her hand...she took what she thought He had held back from her. In the silence of a garden she swallowed her choice and all her descendants died.

...all.

And when we're honest we know that we do the same thing. We doubt Him. We are blinded to all we have and have vision only for what we lack. And we pass it on. Generation to generation...they reap what we sow.

"We do the greatest service to the next generation of Christians by passing on to them undimmed and undiminished that noble concept of God which we received from our Hebrew and Christian fathers of generations past." (pg 4 Tozer).

I was reading the end of Joshua on tuesday. The book ends with this, "Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had known the works of the LORD which He had done for Israel."

Then Judges chapter 2 verse 10 reads, "When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel."

Failure. Failure to know God and to pass on the knowledge of Him to the next generation. They grew up into idolatry and perished for lack of knowledge.

Undimmed and undiminished...may we both own and pass on the knowledge of the Holy One.

Taking on the Challenge

Memorize the mount. The Sermon on the Mount. The Jesus' Manifesto. Why not know it by heart? Victory comes from His word. "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God" and "This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our FAITH." No secret to victory. Faith. And faith comes from His words.

So I am joining this challenge. Hiding the word in my heart.

Let my Day Begin with Alleuia.

1.)His smile.

2.) Sunshine and tomato highlighting.

3.) Spending time with little woman, telling me about the love of Jesus.

4.) Training my hands- stitch after stitch.

5.) The familiar faces and noise of camp.

6.) Voices in unison repeating the truth "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us..."

7.) 4 sets of bunk beds, 2 cots, and a mattress on the floor. 11 girls sleeping in one room.

8.) Flying down a hill on a sled, screaming all the way.

9.) Cups of coffee and painted nails.

10.) Words of this song:

"Let my day begin with Alleuia

When the sun is high its alleuia

when the moon is high its alleuia

ALLEUIA, I praise you Lord.

Let my day begin with talking to You

I can't see ahead I know that You do

On the road of life You see the big view

ALLEUIA, I'll follow You."

Our offering.

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." Romans 12:1

This is our offering. Reasonable. Not asking too much. Not overkill. Present yourself to Him, holy-- this is what is acceptable in His eyes.

Living and holy. Not dead, sterile, and legalistic. But Alive- heart pumping, mind thrumming, nerves tingling...and holy.
God wouldn't ask it if we couldn't do it --through Him.

This is our material for sacrifice. God has provided the offering. Just like He always did through Scripture. He gives us the offering and just tells us to give it back to Him. AND THEN, He turns around and blesses us for it. What an awesome God we serve.

This thought came into my head tonight as I was enjoying having the arm of my man around me. The feeling that honoring God is both so hard and yet so easy. God provides us with the strength and the opportunity to please Him. He gives us the sacrifice.

1 Samuel 15:22 says that obedience is better than sacrifice. But I think that obedience is the sacrifice itself. We take our feelings, longings, battles, and prayers and pour them out like water from the well of Bethlehem. They are all an offering. God, this is for You. And this. And this. I love You more than this.

We cannot offer to God that which has cost us nothing. So praise Him for the longings and the battles because He gives us the material for sacrifice.


*"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mark 14:38- Pray for us if you think to, we always do appreciate it! =)*

Living in the Shadow

Our parents are our first truth. Our first view into what we can count on and what we can't. They start out invincible. Immortal. Tall and strong and perfect.

I struggle in the passenger seat. I look through the dark into the most familiar face in the world. I look out windows and beat back the desire to cut deep with words. My father ...passing on wisdom that I'm sure truely is wise. But my ears no longer want to hear him. No Dad. No. You no longer know.

I think of the nights of bedside stories. Summers of pool play, and car rides singing favorites. Lap sitting and talking. SO much talking. I remember his handkerchief and how good he was with tears. I was so much closer to him than to mom. Kneeling beside my bed teaching me the words I still repeat..."Our Father, who art in heaven..." I remember his guarding. A father's love teaches a daughter to bloom.

The lump still rises. Oh to undo these years that that was broken. The deep fear. The distrust. The bitter battle.

And I know that of course I'm still broken over this. Still crushed by the weight of a family dispersed and sin in the camp.

But FEAR KEEPS LIFE SMALL. and bitterness kills. It has killed. I've seen the carnage in my own life as I took that first step. My idol was knocked down. And so I stepped away from Jehovah. Rather than running to him.

Fear keeps life small. The fear of a life forgotten. Starting over and being forgotten. Swept under the rug, dismissed. Sin in my camp teaching the next generation the same fear that I know.

But my life doesn't have to be small. I might always remember this shadow and in some ways may always live in it. But may it end here. May my life be the last in a family covered by shadows.

Remember, not those things that have changed. Not the emptiness of a house where no man lives. Not the place settings only for two. Not those.

Remember what is the same and always will be. Jesus- the same yesterday, today, and forever. He'll never let go of my hand.

In Him I'll outlive this shadow.

Quote

"I used to think that God's gifts were on shelves one above the other, and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we should reach them. I find now that God's gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower, and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts."
~ F.B. Meyer

Monday Gratitude--> the way to beat the blues.

1.) Mom's budding plans for Ireland adventures. Tickets ordered.

2.) Time with sister friend.

3.) Dog's head heavy and warm.

4.) An evening with no plans.

5.)Springishness...not too long now.

6.)Long, clearing-the-head walks.

7.)Old ladies...leaning on His grace.

8.) Homemade Mac & cheese. Ritz crackers.

9.)hugs from girls suddenly tall.

10.)Goober boys in love with Sonic.

6 years.

6 years ago today. 6 years ago the words sunk in. The words with the power to bring life...Psalm 119:50 "Your word has given me life." "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17.

These were the words He used. And they gave me LIFE.

They tuned my heart to His truth. They shed the light on my need for Jesus and for the crazy love He has for us. For the salvation He has put within reach for anyone who extends the believing arm of faith to take it from Him. Its free. FREE.

That was 6 years ago.

Nothing is perfect. I'm most definately not. Sometimes I show this gift off and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I act like I don't know Him. But He does know me. Even when i push Him away He sticks closer than a brother.


Thank You Jesus for 6 years in Your arms. 6 years in Your family. 6 years free.

Great is YOUR faithfulness, oh God my Father.

Kingdom Vision

Proverbs 27:17- "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."

In the past 6 months God has been teaching me the importance of friendships. Over the summer months I was not in touch with many of my closest college friends. Through the fall months with the help of good ol' denny's in Auburn I've been able to start enjoying some of these friendships again. Like Jessie.

Jessie to me sums up kingdom vision. And that is one (not the only one) reason I'm so glad we're friends.

This was true while we were at NBBI together, as RA's and worked together to start a good news club. And its true now while she works in eastern Maine with CEF. She through the Spirit's work in her life has a vision not only for a kid here or a kid there but sees widely. She sees the impact a gospel teaching club can have on a few kids...their families...their town...the churches in that town.

And she sees what an impact it could have on generations to come.

Kingdom vision.

Look at the fields, they are white or ready for harvesting. GO. Just do something. Because if you do it for Jesus it will have big returns. Little is much when God is in it.

She sharpens me. She is a tool in God's hand as He works on my life. And its just by being my friend. I am super thankful for Jessie.

Yesterday was a happy friendship day for me. I had lunch with Jessie and then afterwards hung out with Renee. Both are people God has Seriously blessed me with. And there are others too.

We don't meet anyone by accident.

And as we're blessed we turn around and can be a blessing back. Its like taking turns. We have times of neediness and times when we meet the needs. Proverbs 18:24 "A man who has friends must himself be friendly..."

Be filled, turn around, and pour it out. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Thank You notes.

Black dog, White snow.

Robins in February.

A newborn baby.

My bro and his lady.

Old man dog.

The joy-spring book.

Hemmed in by the Almighty.

In the New King James Bible (my Bible of choice) psalm 139:5 says "You (God) have hedged me behind and before..."

But in the NIV or ESV it reads "You have hemmed me in behind and before..."

In either case the meaning is the same. God has us surrounded. Where can we run from Him? And when we want to run is there any place we'd rather be?

Hemmed in. Hedged in. Held in. Surrounded. He goes before us and He follows behind us. Everywhere and in everything we can see Him. If we look.

We must learn to see the stitches. He's here and on this side and He's over there too. His skillfull work is all around us to remind us there is no place for us that does not hold Him too. Those moments of deepest, seemingly unforgivable sin and those moments of swollen joy and worship. He's there. He sees us the same in both.

When we betray and deny Him. When we dance in joy for Him. He's there. He's the same. His grace is reaching down to us. Ever reaching. Always surrounding.

But we cannot truly know His grace until we know our own grace-hate. Our grace-blindness. Our grace-ignorance. Our gracelessness.

In the ugliness of our hearts there is the pushing desire to "go it alone" to "do it my way". I know this so well. I am a rebell if nothing else. My eyes are so often blind to the help that is grace. Trying to sprout life through the concrete of my heart. Its a miracle, but He does it.


A quote from Martin Luther:
"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead...He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace."


He has hemmed us in. We cannot get away from Him. Therefore, let us learn to see Him.


Liz